actress Laila with her son...

just for fun...

MINDBLOWING: VIJAYAKANTH'S Dialogues in English

1) U can study and get any certificates. But u cannot get ur death certificate

2) U may have AIRTEL or BSNL connection but when u sneeze u ll say HUTCH

3 ) U can bcome an engineer if u study in engineering college. U cannot bcom a president if u studies in Presidency College

4 ) U can expect a BUS from a BUS stop ... u cannot expect a FULL from FULL stop

5) A mechanical engineer can bcom a mechanic but a software engineer cannot bcom a software

6 ) U can find tea in teacup. But cannot find world in world cup

7) U can find keys in Keyboard but u cannot find mother in motherboard.

How is it?

a legend of krishna's birth....

In the Yadava Kingdom, King Surasena ruled over Mathura City. His descendant was Ugarasena, and his son was the notorious Kamsa, feared for his tyranny over the land. Ugrasena's younger was Devaka, who had a daughther called Devaki. She was married to Vasudeva, son of Sura a noble of Mathura. After the wedding ceremony, the couple return to Vasudeva's home. Devaki's elder cousin Kamsa himself took the reins and escorted his sister.

As they were going through the forest, a voice from the sky laughed and spoke to Kamsa. "O foolish king, who do you ride home? The very sister and her husband whose eighth son who is going to kill you?" Kamsa became petrified with fear and that very moment he stopped the chariot and took his sword to kill Devaki. Vasudeva entreated with Kamsa and begged him to spare her, in turn he promised to hand over all their children to Kamsa as soon as they were born. Kamsa relented and threw the couple into the dungeon with fetter on their hands and feet.

Vasudeva and Devaki begot of six sons, each of whom Kamsa killed. Such a cruelty and such was the fear of his own impending death. When Devaki conceived the seventh child, who was none other than Sesha the Serpant Couch of the Vishnu, the lord commanded Yogamaya the power of his trance sleep to appear and remove the womb of Devaki and plant it in Rohini, Vasudeva's other wife who was living in Braj on the other bank of Yamuna, under the care of the cowherd Vassai Chieftain Nanda. When Devaki lost her womb, they all thought that the child was dead even before birth, but in fact, he was born to Rohini as Balarama and was growing up with Nanda.

Devaki conceived her eigth child.This was Krishna, on the asterism of Rohini in the monsoon season . Krishna was born at midnight when all the guards had fallen asleep. So radiant was his frame, complete with Shanka, Chakra and all the divine ornanments that Devaki immediately recongnized the child as none other than the Lord Vishnu himself, born to her in human form. She feared that Kamsa too may recongnize the child, so to appease her fear, the Lord withdrew the Shanka, Chakra and four arms and appeared as an ordinary child.

A miracle happened. The doors of the dungeon opened and the Lord commanded Vasudeva to transfer him to the home of yhe cowherd Chieftain Nanda and his wife Yasoda across the river. Vasudeva placed the child on a winnow basket and waded across the swollen river. The river would rise alarmingly, but subside immediately on the touching of the Lord's feet.

Vasudeva reached Nanda's home Brindhadvana on the outskirts of Braj. At the same time, Devaki begot Krishna; Yasoda too begot a female child, who was none other than Yogamaya. Exhausted from the labour, Yasoda lay sleeping. Vasudeva placed the child Krishna bye her side and returned with the female child Yogamay. He re-entered the dungeon and the doors closed. The child cried and guard woke up. They ran to Kamsa and told him birth of another child to Devaki. Kamsa hastily entered the dungeon all disheveled and cruelly picked up the child by its feet, to hit it against a rock. But Lord and behold, the child did not fall down but flew up laughing. "O fool, the child who is destined to kill you is alive and living elsewhere". Kamsa's fears grew worse and he thought of ways to kill his tormentor. He ordered that all childeren born then before or after should be killed all over the land.


A VERY HAPPY KRISHNA JEYANTHI TO ALL OF YOU...
கிருஷ்ண ஜெயந்தியை கொண்டாடும் அனைவருக்கும் எனது மனமார்ந்த நல்வாழ்த்துக்கள்...

how???...Muthu...how???

MUTHU & THE INTERVIEWER

Interviewer: 'What is your birth date?'
Muthu : '13th October.'
Interviewer : 'Which year?'
Muthu : 'Every year.'

MUTHU & HIS MANAGER

The Manager asked Muthu at an interview... . 'Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?'
Muthu replied: 'P-O-S-T-B-O- X.'

MUTHU & LONDON TRIP

After returning from a foreign trip,
Muthu asked his wife, 'Do I look like a foreigner?'
Wife: 'No! Why?'
Muthu : 'In London , a lady asked me, 'Are you a foreigner?'. .. that's why.'
Wife : ?????????

MUTHU & TOURIST

A tourist from U.S.A. asked Muthu whether any great man was born in his village...
Muthu said , 'No sir, only babies were born here.'

MUTHU & HIS EXPERIMENT

Muthu was doing an experiment with a cockroach.
First he cut off one leg and told it to 'WALK! WALK!' The cockroach walked.
Then he cut off it's second leg and told the same. The cockroach walked.
Then he cut off the third leg and did the same.
Finally, he cut off its fourth leg and ordered it walk!
But the cockroach didn't walk.
Suddenly,
Muthu said loudly, 'I found it. If we cut a cockroach's four legs, it becomes deaf.'

MUTHU & DRIVER

When Muthu was travelling with his wife in a motorised tricycle, the driver adjusted the mirror. Muthu shouted, 'You are trying to see my wife, eh? Sit in the back.. I will drive.'

MUTHU GOES TO HOTEL

Muthu went into a hotel. To wash his hands, he went to the washbasin.Then when he had finished, he started washing the basin. Seeing this, the manager asked what was he doing.
Muthu pointed towards the signboard
'WASH BASIN'

*MUTHU & INTERVIEWER - FINAL PART*

Interviewer : 'Just imagine you're in the 20th floor of a building and it's on fire. How will you escape?'Muthu: 'It's simple.. I will just stop my imagination. '

Oh... Lastly.... I forgot ............. . the funniest... At a political rally, Muthu was arrested. Why????????? ??? Because a lady journalist with a badge which read '*PRESS*' pinned on the right part of her blouse walked past him... and he did it!

Thanks to Miss Subathira

are both the stories quite familiar with you....???

"Pregnant unwed daughter"

A young unmarried girl discovers that she is pregnant.

Scared,
She confides this ' news' to her mother. Shouting,
cursing and crying,
the mother says, 'Who was the pig that did this to you?
I want to know!'
The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.

Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house;

a mature and distinguished man with gray hair and
impeccably dressed in
a very expensive suit steps out of it and enters the house.

He sits in the living room with the father, the mother and
the
girl, and tells them: 'Good morning, your daughter has
informed me of
the problem. However, I can't marry her because of my
personal family
situation, but I'll take responsibility. If a girl is
born, I will bequeath her
2 retail stores, a townhouse, a bea! ch villa and a
$1,000,000 bank account.
If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories
and a $2,000,000 bank account.
If it is twins, a factory and $1,000,000 each. However, if
there is a miscarriage,
what do you suggest I do?'
At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places
a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him,
'You can try again!'


"DIVORCE vs MURDER"

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy,
walked
up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and
said, 'I
would like to buy some cyanide.'
The pharmacist asked, 'Why in the world do you need
cyanide?'
The lady replied, 'I need it to poison my
husband.'!
The pharmacist's eye got big and he exclaimed,
'Lord have mercy!
I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband.
That's against the law!
I'll lose my licence!
They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad
things will
happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!'
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of
her
husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, 'Well
now,
that's different.. You didn't tell me you had a
prescription.'

how many kids will you have? it all depends on your hubby's job....

4 husbands were sitting at the waiting room in a hospital while waiting for their wives birth giving. Then a nurse came out and told to the first daddy, "Congratulations, you got twins!". "Oohh.. maybe its a coincident!" said the daddy. "I am working with the Petronas Twin Towers!".

Then another nurse came out and told to the second daddy, "Congratulations! You have triplets!" "Wooow!, this is a coincidence too." said the second daddy."I am working for 3M Corporation!"

Another nurse came out and told the third daddy, "Congratulations! Your wife got quadriplets!" "Thank God! Maybe this is also a coincidence.""I work in the Four Seasons Hotel!"

The fourth daddy-to-be was very worried. All the 3 daddies asked him, "Why are you so worried??" He answered, "I am working @ Seven-Eleven!"


Thanks to Miss Puvana...