very cute jokes....

Telephone Bill

The phone bill was exceptionally high and the man of the house called a family meeting...

Dad: People this is unacceptable. You have to limit the useof the phone. I do not use this phone; I use the one at theoffice.
Mum: Same here, I hardly use this home telephone as I usemy work telephone
Son: Me too, I never use the home phone. I always use mycompany mobile
Maid: So what is the problem? We all use our work telephones

Prospective Employer to Applicant : 'So why did youleave your previous job?'
Applicant: 'The company relocated and they did not tell me where!'

You were riding a bus, when you suddenly fart. Luckily the music is very loud. Every time you farted, you timed it with the music. When you were going down the bus, everybody were throwing dagger looks at you, and you suddenly realized . .. ... that you have your MP3 player on your ears !

WIFE: It's a miracle! You came home early.
HUSBAND: I just obeyed what my boss told me to do. He said:'GO TO HELL', that's why I came home early.

John: It's my wife's birthday
Peter: What's your gift to her?
John: I asked her what she wanted
Peter: What did she said?
John: Anything, as long as there is a DIAMOND.
Peter: What did you gave her?
John: playing cards

After having failed his exam in 'Logistics andOrganization', a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it.

Student : 'Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?'
Professor : 'Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!'
Student : 'Great, well then I would like to ask you aquestion. If you can give me the correct answer, I willaccept my mark as is and go. However, if you do not know the answer, I want you give me an 'A' for the exam.'
Professor : 'Okay, it's a deal. So what is the question?'
Student : 'What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical, nor legal?'

Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an 'A', as agreed.

Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question.

He immediately answers : 'Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35 year od woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 25 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you have given your wife's lover an 'A', although he really should have failed, is neither legal, nor logical.

Thanks to Miss Durgashini

I am a August Babe...How about Yourself?

JANUARY BABY

Pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Sensitive. Down-to-Earth. Stubborn.

FEBRUARY BABY

Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. sexiest out of everyone. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Horny. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH BABY

Attractive personality. sexy. Affectionate Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Great kisser. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Observant and assesses others.

APRIL BABY

Suave and compromising. Funny and humorous. Stubborn. Very talkative. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal. Does work well with others. Very confident. Sensitive. Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Able to cheer evryone up and/or make them laugh. Able to motivate oneself and others. Understanding. Fun to be around. Outgoing. Hyper. Bubbly personality. Secretive. Boy/girl crazy. Loves sports, music, leisure and traveling. Systematic. hott but has brains.

MAY BABY

Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Shy towards oppisite sex. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited.

JUNE BABY

You've got the best personality and are an absolute pleasure to be around. You love to make new friends and be outgoing. You are a great flirt and more than likely have an a very attractive partner. a wicked hottie. It is also more than likely that you have a massive record collection. You have a great choice in films, and may one day become a famous actor/actress yourself - heck, you've got the looks for it!!!

JULY BABY

Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. spazzy at times. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

AUGUST BABY

Outgoing personality. takes risks. feeds on attention. no self control. kind hearted. self confident. loud and boisterous. VERY revengeful. easy to get along with and talk to. has an "every thing's peachy" attitude. likes talking and singing. loves music. daydreamer. easily distracted. Hates not being trusted. BIG imagination. loves to be loved. hates studying. in need of "that someone". longs for freedom. rebellious when withheld or restricted. lives by "no pain no gain" caring. always a suspect. playful. mysterious. "charming" or "beautiful" to everyone. stubborn. curious. independent. strong willed. a fighter.

SEPTEMBER BABY

Active and dynamic. Mysterious. Bottle up the feelings.
You won't ever know what's going on in their heads, except for the chosen few.Decisive and haste but tends to regret.
Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Always busy in finding ways to relieve world's problems,
but during this they tend to neglect themself. Near and dear people
should see to it that they don't forget themself completely
while caring for others all the time. Brave and fearless
Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous.
Usually you have many friends. Enjoys to make love. Emotional. Stubborn. Hasty. Good memory. Moving, motivates oneself and others. Loves to travel and explore. Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can understand.

OCTOBER BABY

Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often.. Treats friends importantly. Brave and fearless. Always making friends.. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions. Unpredictable. Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND sexiest of them all.

NOVEMBER BABY

Trustworthy and loyal. Very passionate and dangerous. Wild at times. Knows how to have fun. Sexy and mysterious. Everyone is drawn towards your inner and outer beauty and independent personality. Playful, but secretive. Very emotional and temperamental sometimes. Meets new people easily and very social in a group. Fearless and independent. Can hold their own. Stands out in a crowd. Essentially very smart. Usually, the greatest men are born in this month. If you ever begin a relationship with someone from this month, hold on to them because their one of a kind.

DECEMBER BABY

This straight-up means ur the most good-looking person possible... better than all of these other months! Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive in everything. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Easy to talk to, though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision, yet complicated to know. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Has that someone always on his/her mind. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. one guy/girl kind of person. Loveable. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. loves music.. pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover.

வரிகளுக்காகவே பாடலை கேட்கலாம்...

என்னை கவர்ந்த பாடல்களில் இதுவும் ஒன்றாக இருப்பதால் உங்கள் பார்வைக்கு வைக்கிறேன் பார்த்து ரசியுங்கள...இந்த பாடல் மலேசியாவின் உள்ளுர் படமான "உருவம்" என்ற படத்தில் இடம்பெற்றிருக்கிறது...இந்த பாடலை பாடியிருக்கிறார்கள் கே கே கண்ணா மற்றும் சுகன்யா...பாடலை கேட்டு பாருங்க நிச்சயமா உங்களுடைய மனதையும் கவரும்யென நம்புகிறேன்...

மிகவும் கவர்ந்த‌ வரிகள்: ஒரு வரியில்...உன்னை அடைந்தேன்...ஒரு கனம் பார்வை என்னை தீண்டும்...ஒரு நோடியில்...ஒரு...நோடியில் முத்தங்கள் காதல் சொல்லிடுமே...

such a cute joke...hahahaha...lol

Ah Beng was walking along his work area one day and saw his fren AhMute.

Ah Mute can't speak so he needs to use sign language to communicate.

Ah Mute signal why Ah Beng isn't at work.

Ah Beng then look around and gathered some leaves under the tree and stand on them.

He looked at Ah Mute and pointed down at the leaves.

Ah Mute is now confused..

Later Ah Sian passes by and saw Ah Beng standing on the leaves..

Ah Mute than signal Ah Sian on what is Ah Beng trying to say..........

Make a guess........

You can do it........

No cheating........

Ah Sian than type down in his handphone and show it to Ah Mute.

"Aiyo so simple, Ah Beng is on Leave!"

Thanks to Miss Puvana

Husband of the Year Awards‏...

The honorable mention for :

The United Kingdom

...followed closely by

The United States of America

and then ................

Poland

but 3rd Place must go to .........

Greece

it was very very close but the runner up prize was awarded to.................

Serbia

but the winner of the husband/partner of the year

......is

......... Ireland

Ya gotta love the Irish.

The Irish are true romantics..look,

he's even holding her hand.

lol

in love with the alphabet "M"

Woman has Man in it;

Mrs. has Mr. in it;

Female has Male in it;

She has He in it;

Madam has Adam in it;

No wonder men always want to be inside women!

Men were born between the legs of a woman, yet men spend all their life and time trying to go back between the legs of a woman....

Why?

BECAUSE THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE HOME

Okay, Okay, it all makes sense now... I never looked at it this way before:

Ever notice how all of women's problems start with MEN ?

MEN tal illness

MEN strual cramps

MEN tal breakdown

MEN opause

GUY necologist

AND .. When we have REAL trouble, it's a HISterectomy.

Send this to all the women you know to brighten their day. Send this to all the men just to annoy them ...... have a good laugh and a great day!

lol

hilarious...

1. Losing all your friends
Man comes home and finds his wife with his friend in bed.He shoots his friend and kills him. Wife says 'If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends.'

2. Brother wanted
A small boy wrote to Santa Claus,' Send me a brother'Santa wrote back, 'SEND ME YOUR MOTHER'

3. Meaning of WIFE
Husband asks, 'Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means 'Without Information Fighting Every time'!'Wife replies, 'No, it means 'With Idiot For Ever'!!!'

4. Importance of a period
Teacher: 'Do you know the importance of a period?'Kid: 'Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted ; dad got a heart attack, and our driver ran away.'

5. Confident vs. confidential
A young boy asks his Dad, 'What is the difference between confident and confidential?' Dad says, 'You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, that's confidential ! '

6. Anger management?
Husband: 'When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?'Wife: 'I clean the toilet.' Husband: 'How does that help?' Wife: 'I use your toothbrush .'

Thanks to Miss Kalavathy

why dogs hate halloween...lol

Thanks to Miss Puvana

Diwali....

A VERY HAPPY DIWALI TO ALL OF YOU!!!

a mere coincidence - believe it or not....

Kamal Hassan

====================================================================

1) In 1978, his Tamil movie "Sivappu Rojakal (Erra Gulabi)" gotreleased..He played the role of a Psychopath killer . One year later, a guy calledPsycho Raman was caught for brutally murdering people

2) In 1988, kamal played the role of a unemployed youth in the movie"Sathya". In 89-90's our country faced lot of problems due tounemployment.

3) In 1992, his blockbuster movie "Devar Magan" got released. Its avillage bas ed subject. There will be some scenes portraying communalclashes.Exactly a year later in 1993, there were many communal clashes insouthern districts.

4) We all know in 1996 many people in our country was cheated by financecompanies. Our Kamal Hasan has clearly depicted this in his movie"mahanadhi" which got released in 1994 itself.

5) In "heyram"(2000), there are some scenes relating to Hindu Muslimclashes . We all know 2 years later, godhra(Gujarat riots) incidenthappened.

6) He used a word called 'tsunami' in his movie "An besivam (SatyameSivam)"(2003).The word 'tsunami' was not known to many people before. In2004, 'tsunami' stuck the east coast of our country and many people losttheir lives.

7) In his latest movie "Vettaiyadu Vilayadu (Raghavan)"(2006) there aretwo characters called ila&amudhan who played the roles of psychopathkillers.After 3 months of release of the movie, the noida serial killing came tolight (moninder/sathish)And to add another point to the seven below

8 )He shows the outbreak of a biological weapon(virus/vial) in Tamiln adu --Dasavatharam(2008) Will it Happen????

hahahaha....oh my god! scary sial....lol

Feng Shui of Sleeping‏...

Thanks to Miss Subathira

guess what was in the prince's pocket???

Once upon a time there lived a king. The king had a beautiful daughter, the PRINCESS.

But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt.

No matter what; metal, wood, stone, Anything she touched would melt.

Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her.

The king despaired. What could he do to help his daughter?

He consulted his wizards and magicians. One wizard told the king, 'If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands, she will be cured.'

The king was overjoyed and came up with a plan next day, he held a competition. Any man that could bring his daughter an object that would not melt would marry her and inherit the king's wealth..

THREE YOUNG PRINCES TOOK UP THE CHALLENGE.

The first brought a sword of the finest steel.

But alas, when the princess touched it, it melted, and the prince went away sadly .

The second prince brought diamonds.

He thought diamonds are the hardest substance in the world and would not melt. But alas, once the princess touched them, they melted. He too was sent away disappointed.

:-[

The third prince approached. He told the princess,

'Put your hand in my pocket and feel what is in there.'

The princess did as she was told, though she turned red.

She felt something hard. She held it in her hand..

And it did not melt!!!

The king was overjoyed. Everybody in the kingdom was overjoyed. And the third prince married the princess and they both lived happily ever after.

Question: What was in the prince's pocket?

(Scroll down for the answer)

V

V

M&M's of course! They melt in your mouth, not in your hand.

What were you thinking??

HAHAHAHAHAHA

U Very Ham Sap Leh!

Thanks to Miss Ponni

Spongebob Found In Serangoon Road, no joke‏ okie....

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hahahaha...lol

Thanks to Miss Puvana

Moments When You're Allowed To Say Ohh Shhh !!!

Thanks to Mr Kavindran

Drunk Finalists-2008...hahaha...lol

IN THE

8TH PLACE

7TH PLACE
6TH PLACE
5TH PLACE
4TH PLACE
3RD PLACE
2ND PLACE
And the

1 ST PLACE goes to.........

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hahaha...lol

Thanks to Miss Divya

Terrible F1 accident‏...

VERY SCARY>>>> only for the strong hearted...

The F1 night race in Singapore, the accident not shown on TV…..

Please always observe safety... This is a shocking image of excess speed where it actually flipped over... Not for the faint heartened…

hahahaha.....lol

Thanks to Miss Puvana

Productivity Improvement Strategy‏...lol

Probably this might be the situation in Indian IT companies soon because of the time they spend on traffic ...

Microsoft Office Bus In China

Thanks to Mr Mahendiran